By Lawrence Mayanja
As our dear children broke off from school for their short holiday, I took time to think through and found this information critical for every parent to note.
Dear fellow parents,
You can love your child deeply and still damage their future without realizing it!
Not every wound comes from a physical injury…some wounds come from words, comparisons and the way the child is treated every day, and today; I want every parent to read this write-up with an open heart.
There are three habits you must be careful about:
First, constantly criticizing your child.
Correction is necessary but if every mistake is followed by the words… “you’re useless, you can never do anything right, you will never become anything” this is absolutely wrong. Those words can stay in a child`s heart forever. They alter the bond between yourself and the children.
Correct the behavior, do not destroy the child`s confidence. Your child needs to know that they made a mistake not I am a mistake.
Second, comparing your child to other children…. “look at your brother, why can’t you be like her? Other children are doing better than you…”
Parents may say these words for their own comfort and maybe out of anger, but let me tell you the truth; comparing your child to others can create jealousy, anger and lower their self-esteem.
Just like we parents, every child is created and gifted differently; it’s natural that we can`t all be the same…Guide your child, challenge your child, teach your child, encourage your child but do not make your child feel that they must become something else to become worthy of your love and care.
A tree doesn’t grow by looking at another tree, it grows when it is properly cared for.
Third. Provide for your children but note: Providing money but refusing to give your time to your children is dangerous.
Yes, your children need food, education, clothing and all necessities of life, but how much time do you offer to them?
Your kids need you, they need your physical presence, they need your attention, they need your
encouragement, they need to feel you…they need someone that will listen to them when they speak.
They need counsel from you, they need mentorship and above all, they need to physically play and pray with you
Fellow parents, “Never become so busy building a future for your children that you forget to build a relationship with them today”.
And for those tough parents, if you grow up with these habits, remember this; “You don’t have to repeat what hurt you. You can break the pattern, you can learn to speak differently, you can love your children differently, you can become the parent you once needed by speaking what you want in a calm way”.
So, as a parent, ask yourself today…when my child remembers me years from now, what will they remember about me? A fearful, arrogant parent, a parent filled with love and criticism or a holistic parent?
Parents, lets speak words that build our children, words that inspire them, lets care for them but above all, pray for them.
The best tree is that one that has been nurtured well.
God bless your children all through this holiday.
The writer is a Parent, Investigative Journalist, Human Rights Defender and Political Activist
Email: lawmayanja@yahoo.com
